The results are in!

Well, I don't know what I was so scared for, I knew that scan would be NEGATIVE. I did the "cancer-free happy dance" for a few hours after learning the results. Just wanted to thank everyone for prayers and well wishes! It sure does work. I do have to go see a pulmonologist (lung doctor) as my oncologists suspects I have a problem either with reactive airway (like asthma) or pulmonary fibrosis (stiffening of the lungs). Lets all pray its the reactive airway because pulmonary fibrosis gets progressively worse throughout a persons lifetime. So, now I go for Lung function tests on wednesday and see pulmonary doc on the 30th. No biggie, I am fearless. :)

I wait...

Well the PET scan is behind me, now I wait for the results. It was a long afternoon yesterday at the Wilton Medical Center. In the past I had been able to sleep through most of it, this is my 4th scan, but not this time. I was wide awake going between reading a book to text messaging my buds. Then once the radioactive sugar substance had been given enough time to circulate (an hour), it was off to the scanning bed! Here I usually sleep too, this part takes 30 minutes. Nope, no sleep. Wide awake, lying still, breathing normally, and talking to God. Only I wasn't talking about me or what I may be facing. I was praying for my friend Jess and her son Jaden. Jaden is 7, and has mitochondrial disease. This has no cure and is literally causing his body to shut down system by system. I feel like I need to do something BIG for them. So I have been asking God for the answer. I have a few things in mind, like getting them involved with the Make A Wish foundation. But Jaden is pretty sick right now, he is at Albany Med awaiting more surgery, while his mom is by his side all day then comes to work at night. So I wait, wait for my results, and wait for God to tell me what I can do to help my friends.

...down the mountain 2

A quick appointment to Dr. M turned out to be an extended afternoon of examinations, blood tests, chest xrays, and lets not forget the line at the pharmacy! Not really sure what is going on with me yet, I will have the results of the chest xray and blood work today. In the meantime, I was started on steroids to help my lungs and an antibiotic in case it is a pneumonia. Dr. M seems pretty sure that these are all late effects of the treatments I underwent. However, just to be sure he has moved my P.E.T. scan up from August 11th (my birthday) to this coming monday. This is when I get shot up with radioactive sugar that gets sucked up by any cancer cells, that I don't have anymore, and glow on the films for all to (not) see! It is actually quite amazing, from the outside looking in of course!

I don't feel any better today, I was kind of hoping I would! I worked last night after all of that jazz, and I am tired and can feel myself starting to babble on and on, so I will update again after Thursday, when the results of my P.E.T. are back. I am seriously trying not to let these "threatened" losses scare me to death! please keep me in your prayers. Thanks :)

goin back down the mountain,,,

Today was my first night back to work in 7 nights. It was an okay night, but I don't feel good. I have been having some trouble with becoming short of breath with normal activity and with all over the place bone pain. Well last night, I felt like my ribs were made of stone, they wouldn't expand enough for me to feel like I am getting enough air, it hurt to laugh, to cough and just to move. My feet are swollen, and aching! I feel like I am 102 years old!! These symptoms have been getting progressively worse over the past few weeks. Though I try not to complain, I have learned a lesson about ignoring my body, so I got home this morning and made an appointment with my awesome oncologist. It is at 2 tomorrow, and I am really nervous, but I am praying to God and lifting those fears up to Him the best I can. I am trying hard not to "imagine" my losses. I will blog again about this tomorrow, right now I need to get some sleep!

Simply Amazing

As I continue to grow as a Christian, I thought it would be a good idea to take a few minutes to blog about it! As many of you know, I was in a very dark place in my life just under a year ago. With a new diagnosis of cancer, being afraid all the time yet pretending to be just fine, I was in a downward spin. Even though I never went to church or prayed, I was angry at God and spent a lot of time with a rather large chip on my shoulder that was stamped with WHY ME? Until one day, my sister told me about this church she had been going to. I will never forget it, we had just left my chemotherapy treatment and were sitting down at Wendy's in Saratoga. She told me about the previous weekends service, and we talked about this guy Pastor Buddys' message..."Who owes you??". This conversation brought me to tears right there in Wendy's, though I had no clue who Pastor Buddy was nor had I even attended this church. I went to NC the very next weekend. Since then, I have only missed two services, I have met so many awesome people (Shout out to the Cornicks!!WOOHOO!!), and have become involved in something that is just simply amazing! Northway Church is in the middle of an awesome period of change and growth, something unheard of in the Northeast!












With the opening of its new Colonie location, and the consolidation of Malta and Clifton Park as we prepare to build a new Malta on a HUGE 12 acre lot, it is truly exciting to see God in action here! To see how so many people came together to give Clifton Park an extreme makeover (I think Pastor Nate will forever call me "painter girl") and volunteered for Celebration Weekend was incredibly inspiring. Plus nearly 100 people (including myself) were baptised right there on the property as the sun came out in the middle of some pretty horrible storms, and stayed high in the sky until the celebration was over! We literally sang the sunshine out! A perfect example of God at work! I don't know where I would be in my life today without God or Northway! I know now that there really is a reason for everything! And no matter what happens I will not be afraid anymore. A good point from Sundays message "Don't be afraid, We are going back down the mountain."
Being Baptised, or "going public" in my faith was one of the most emotional and freeing moments in my life. Simply Amazing!! :)

3 Month check-ups are underway!

It is difficult for me to believe that it has only been 3 short months since I have completed chemotherapy, and a mere 2 months since finishing radiation therapy. It feels like an eternity! I have been praying a lot, thanking God for leading me to Him and also for healing me. I have asked for my continued well-being, though I am ready to handle what ever God has planned for me (for better or worse!). At this emotionally exhausting time in my life, I have been drawn closer to my church community. I guess I figure I better give more of myself to show God how grateful I am. (plus being able to interact with the PreK kids is really fun!!) I find a great deal of comfort at Northway Church! Everyone there is just so AWESOME. Anyway, so far I have been checked over by my oncologist and my radiation oncologist who both are extremely optimistic that I am in complete remission, but I have yet to be scanned. My P.E.T. scan is scheduled for August 11th, which happens to be my 33rd birthday. (33 already? MAN!!) I cannot seem to shake the fear of this scan! I ask for your prayers and good thoughts to help get me through!! I am sure it will be fine, but like I have said in a previous post, cancer survivors are always afraid that the "cancer bus" is coming back for them!!! My Oncologist first read me the riot act for working so many ridiculous hours, stating that I must not forget the trauma my body has been through. Is he completely bonkers? OF COURSE I CANT FORGET!! It was my body that had to be injected with poison that made me actually incapable of living, followed by the "miracle" shot of nuelasta that made every bone in my body feel as if it were broken, then being radiated to the point that my skin was peeling off and my lungs may be permanently damaged! Who can forget having their neck cut open for tumor samples? Or how about that port-a-cath that was implanted into my chest wall for 8 months. I will never forget the 4 inch needles that were drilled into my hips for bone marrow biopsies, WITHOUT ANESTHESIA! I cannot forget the unbearable stress that my wonderful husband and family had endured watching me go through this and not being able to take any of it away. I was working so much overtime these past few months to get caught up and ahead of the game,,because if the bus does come back for me, I don't want him to have to work so hard! But then I think about the day in December when that scan came back clear 3 months early. I will NEVER forget how I was crying so hard into the phone from the Oncology parking lot telling my dad I was cured, telling my mom and my sisters that I was cured, telling my husband that God cured me 3 months early! I had suffered enough. He heard my prayers. Most of all, I heard Him calling me. My oncologist also told me I was quite amazing! He said that one could look at me and not even be able to tell that I had just finished chemo less than 3 months ago. He also said that most of his patients don't have a fraction of my energy and could not possibly work full-time 12 hour shifts in an intensive care unit. I told him it wasn't me that is so amazing.

The Night Shift

Yes I know it has been a very long time since my last post, but I can truly say that I have been busier now than I have ever been before. I have become addicted to overtime!! I guess the fact that I didn't work for 8 months, has made me a lunatic who just cannot get enough. So, feeling rundown and regretting the extra time I had signed on for this week I was able to make a sweet deal! The day shift was incredibly short Tuesday morning, I offered to stay until 11am in exchange for Friday night off. Now I am off until NEXT Tuesday!!! Just what I needed after working 5 twelve hour shifts in a row. Now I can actually see my family and maybe even do something fun for the fourth of July. I did a little research on working the night shift,, here is what I found. (maybe Pastor Buddy could preach about this!)

Nov. 2007- Studies suggest that there is a link between circadian rhythm (body clock) disruption and cancer. Night shift work may cause cancer!

"The human sleep-wake system is designed to prepare the body and mind for sleep at night and wakefulness during the day. These natural rhythms make it difficult to sleep during daylight hours and to stay awake during the night hours, even in people who are well rested. It is possible that the human body never completely adjusts to nighttime activity and daytime sleep, even in those who work permanent night shifts."

"In addition to the sleep-wake system, environmental factors can influence sleepiness in shift workers. Because our society is strongly day-oriented, shift workers who try to sleep during the day are often interrupted by noise, light, telephones, family members, and other distractions. In contrast, the nighttime sleep of day workers is largely protected by social customs that keep noises and interruptions to a minimum" (I can relate, especially on days that the lawn needs to be mowed!"

"Working the night shift increases your likelihood of hormonal imbalances, psychological distress, sleep disorders, cardiovascular disease, and gastrointestinal problems. Hormones most commonly affected: adrenaline, cortisol, testosterone, and melatonin."

Don't get me wrong, working the graveyard shift (I hate that term) is not all bad! It certainly has its perks...
-an amazingly significant shift differential! cha-ching!
-it is usually calm, without lingering managers and administrative personel.
-tight bonds with co-workers, sometimes they are all you've got in a crisis!!
-very little traffic on the way to work and again on the way home. (no line at dunkin donuts for my coffee fix!!)

I promised my oncologist that I would chill out for a while, but that is in another post!!

The Night Shift.

Well, I have been working the night shift (7pm-7am) for a few weeks now, and to be honest, I don't know if I am coming or going. I am truly having a difficult time adjusting to it. (the extra shifts I picked up probably doesn't help much either) It is so bizarre working over night, I catch myself doing crazy things like picking up the phone to call my sister. (something I am used to doing at work) HOLD ON!! It is 3 am, she will surely kill me for this. Our unit has all of these glass doors and windows so that we can see all of our patients, When the lights are turned off the place fills with all of these creepy reflections. I can't tell you how many times my own reflection has made me jump! And waking people up to do things to them in the middle of the night isn't very nice either. I do work in an intensive care unit, so most of my people are happily sedated. But not all of them are. I remember being in the hospital and being woken up every 2 hours to have my blood pressure taken. It is annoying, and is it really necessary all the time? Surely not for every patient. Anyway, this shift is not agreeing with my body at all. I dont know when to sleep or eat, I am sleeping when I used to eat, and eating when I used to sleep, so therefore, I am never really hungry or tired. I just pray that I can figure this out, because I need to make some money to pay off these doctors who treated me! To get our stability back will be priceless. Stay tuned for more night shift antics!!

The Law of the Garbage Truck

This was sent to me in an e-mail, I thought it was too good not to share!!

"One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in
the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right
in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the
other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.
And I mean he was really friendly."

"So I asked, "Why did you just do that? That guy almost ruined your car and
sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now
call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck.""

"He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll
dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well,
and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at
home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let
garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't."

Regarding life together and getting along with each other, you don’t need me to tell you what to do. You’re God-taught in these matters. Just love one another!
1 Thessalonians 4:9

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Mathew 6:43-47

Getting to Know the New Me.

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us,,,for when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn can be an encouragement to you." 2-Corinthians 1:4,6.
I am changed spiritually because of my cancer journey. Suffering does that to you if you let it! I am a different, better person because of the suffering I have endured. I have more compassion, more empathy, more patience and more mercy. I am finding that my story has great power to uplift people who may be struggling with something. It may not even be cancer that they are dealing with, but my story always seems to reassure them that despite all odds, there is always hope. I believe that God has a hand in my recovery, I am supposed to use the comfort he has given me to comfort others, just as the bible says. Trust me, this way of thinking comes in handy as a nurse!
I have faced a tremendous challenge.
I have come face to face with my own mortality.
I have endured difficulties that I never thought I could.
I have learned, with the help of God, to distinguish between the important stuff and unimportant stuff.
I know better than most that life is indeed a gift not to be wasted.
It took being thrown under the "cancer-bus" to push me into the arms of God. Who else do you go to with a problem that HUGE? As long as I live I will be afraid that that bus is coming for me again, something survivors face everyday. But I will live each day like it is my last, I will speak to everyone as if I may never see them again, and I will continue to share my story of hope and faith with anyone who needs to hear it.
"So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall, but will become strong." Hebrews 12:12-13

Light the Night 2008

For those of you who remember, Last year the walk was in October, and we froze!! This year it is on September 26th at The Crossing Park in Colonie. I am prepared this year!! No Last minute scrambles for organization this time!!

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) funds lifesaving cancer research that has contributed to major advances in the treatment of blood cancers and many other types of cancer treatments, such as chemotherapy and stem cell transplants, that have helped patients live better, longer lives. New targeted therapies that kill cancer cells without harming normal tissue are providing drugs and procedures that are improving the quality of life. Without LLS, adequate, standard, and lifesaving treatments for Hodgkin's Lymphoma may never have been discovered.


But more research is critically needed:

-Every five minutes someone is diagnosed with blood cancer. Every 10 minutes, someone dies.

-Leukemia causes more deaths among children than any other cancer.

-Nearly 20,000 Americans died from lymphoma in 2007.

(I was lucky!)

-The survival rate for myeloma is just 34 percent.


Please make a donation to support my participation in the Light The Night Walk and help save lives. Be sure to check my Web site frequently to see my progress, and thanks for your support! Below is the link to the donation site, I also put the link on this page. (simply click Light The Night 2008) If you are interested in walking with me, Please leave a comment. So far, I know that it is on September 26th this year, so it should be warmer than last year, other details to follow!!! I would also like to have shirts made for our group.."Michons Troop".

(And be WAY more organized than last year!!)

https://www. active. com/donate/ltnAlbany/2433_mloubier

"Wrecks"

While I was in the hospital last September, my stepson Kevin asked me if he could bring home a puppy.
He pleaded his case, and in my fragile state, I caved and said yes. Mind you, we already have two yappy chihuahuas not to mention the two cats (one of which with only three legs). I met Rex when I came home a few days later.
He was black with gold flecks in his fur, he had big grey-blue eyes and he wasnt THAT little, at 10 weeks and 20 pounds. I guess I had forgot to ask what kind of puppy he was. It quickly became clear to me that he was a pitt bull.
I had known all along that I would end up providing all of the care to this creature, as Kevin and Norm were working full-time, and I would be at home everyday for the next few months undergoing chemotherapy.
I soon changed his name from Rex to Wrecks, he was like a bull in a china shop. He grew so fast! At his first vet appointment, the vet actually said "Whoa! He is gonna be a big guy!". Now he is Eight months old and around 75-80 pounds and still growing. The problem is, that he was raised with two Chihuahuas, and subsequently thinks he is one. (Not a good thing to have Wrecks jump up on your lap!) We are now the best of friends, though he does try my patience from time to time. Like how he waits till I am asleep to stick his big girraffe-like tongue up my nose! He is very intelligent, and surprisingly gentle and loving.
I think this breed has gotten a bad name by being forced to fight under the control of bad people. I must admit however, that a dog like Wrecks takes a LOT of work. I speant many afternoons teaching him to sit, stay, shake, heal. I saved him from the pound, and he helped me to keep my mind off of being sick. Wrecks has never seen me as a "cancer patient". He is a proud and majestic animal who deserves every bit of love and respect he has been given. This beautiful, but nutty dog holds a very special place in my heart. He is truly my best friend. (A title that he shares with Norm!)

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot erode faith
It cannot eat away peace
It cannot destroy confidence
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot shut out memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot reduce eternal life
It cannot quench the spirit
It cannot lesson the power of the resurrection

If an incurable disease has invaded your life, refuse to let it touch your spirit. Your body can be severely afflicted and you may have a great struggle. But if you keep trusting God's love, your spirit will remain strong. Why must You bear this pain? I cannot tell, I only know my Lord does all things well, and so I trust in God my all in all. For He will bring me through what ever befalls. Our greatest enemy is not disease but despair.
I suffered for a long time, I was actually suffering before I found out I had cancer. Then I found God and accepted His son Jesus into my heart. Life is different now. I dont have cancer anymore (though its shadow lingers), I pray about everything, and put my heart into everything I do, as everything I do is for Him. I am totally becoming what Pastor Buddy would call a C3 person! I picked up the Bible for the first time since I was a kid just a few short months ago. I started with The Message, then my husband went to NC with me and recieved a copy of The New Believers Bible, so I have been reading that. Does anyone have any tips on putting it all together?